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Unnamed fic - WTB a decent title

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Just came up with this as i devoured my stash of Nutella with bread sticks. So yummy =)

It's un-beta'ed, un-edited, un-everything... Read at your own caution.

Peorth angrily inserted her keys into the keyhole with one hand, as she pushed a strand on loosen hair from her face with the other. She was tired, sweaty, and in desperate need of a bath. And her feet, god, she did not want to think how much her feet hurt. Those stilettos' she was given were surely a present from hell... literally speaking.

She struggled against the door for a few seconds until it finally dawned on her.

It was open.

She pouted and twirled her set of keys around her finger as she bit her lower lip.

"Don't tell me..." Straitening herself, she turned the knob and stepped inside her apartment.

The lights were off, but the TV was on, albeit the sound was low, and the smell of popcorn mixed with something - wine maybe - assaulted her nose. A mop of silver hair could be seen falling off the couch's arm in long silky waves.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Peorth half whispered through half clenched teeth, eyes narrowing dangerously in that direction.

"You left me back there with a bunch of harlots to come home and eat popcorn?"

"Oh, hi honey! Didn't hear you get in." Urd replied theatrically from where she was laying on the couch as she moved to a sitting position, tucking one leg under her body.

Peorth rolled her eyes and dropped the keys loudly on the glass table. She did not felt like digging her way into a senseless argument right now. She was too tired for it anyway. But when she spotted her side of the room untidy, her nerves got the best out it.

"For crying out loud Urd, how many times do I have to ask for you to keep your stuff on your side of the room?" She complained as she threw away the piece of lingerie hanging on the back of her chair.

Urd carelessly flipped her the finger in reply when she noticed the other wasn't looking. They unquestionably needed a larger apartment. Scratch that, they needed that divorce. Soon!

"This is hardly fair. You run home to watch TV while I had to sit on a table entertaining three old hags that were just dying to know exactly how good sex is after marriage!" The younger goddess rambled as she started undoing the strap of her stillettos'. It felt good to feel the cool marble floor under her feet again.

"Well, want to go for a spin and try it out so you don't have to keep lying to your friends out there?" An amused voice replied back, without missing a beat.

Peorth groaned and facepalmed. At least she had the decency to blush.

"You are insufferable."


Well, that got the brunette attention by the horns. Was Urd slurring or was it just her? Bare footed, she silently moved closer to the line painted on the floor and observed her wif-roommate. The older goddess would softly giggle at nothing while staring at the TV and sip from the large bottle on her hand.

"Are you drunk?" She asked eventually, crossing her arms over her bosom. There was a vein popping on her neck already.

"Maybe" Urd replied absentmindedly.

Peorth growled silently and crossed the room in four long strides.

"Hey! That's trespassing!" Urd announced loudly as she tossed another handful of popcorn in her mouth. There were rules in this house, and the rule number one was to not step into each other's territory....

Or was that rule number two?...

"You're not drunk, you're plastered!"

"Nope, but I'm getting there." Urd answered and giggled madly, putting the bowl of popcorn to the side and raising the bottle for another sip.

"Ok, that's enough." Peorth declared and moved closer.

"Now that's stealing!" Urd complained as Peorth grabbed the bottle from her hands. What was wrong with her anyway? She was not even halfway done with that one!

"No spouse of mine, fake or not, is going to be seen reeking of alcohol and stumbling across the corridors." She announced as she tried to read the label on the bottle, but found out she couldn't understand the symbols and just moved to place it on the low table in front of the couch. Urd's eyes followed her movements, but she didn't bother to get up. There was more of that where that one came from anyway.

"Now you..." She started, positively serious, as she pointed at the silver haired goddess with a long, well manicured finger.

"...are going to get up, undress and get into a long, much needed BATH." She continued, making sure to stress the last word out. Urd sat there, staring cross eyed at the accusing finger. If the raven haired deity wasn't so mad, she would have thought it funny.

"And you're not stepping out of that bathroom until that head of yours is clearer! Got it?" Peorth completed as she noticed how Urd was trying to slap her finger away...and failing miserably.

"And if I don't want to?" The half-goddess asked stubbornly, reaching out for a forgotten jug of god-knows-what resting on the couch.

Peorth sighed and swiftly grabbed the bottle from her hands by the neck and took a long, wild swing.

Urd took a long moment to drunkenly analyze the moment. Her blurred vision came to rest on the other divinity neck and she realized for the first time how wonderfully long it was...her eyes slowly dropped down to admire her breast rising up and down rhythmically with her hastened breathing.

Urd blinked once, trying to shake the spell off, and forced her eyes to travel north again. There she noticed how her lips shone against the moonlight and so the silver haired maiden found herself dropping her jaw.

"Then help me God, I'll make you" Peorth replied hotly, with fire in her eyes as she cleaned her mouth with the back of her hand. Urd stared like a fish, weakly trying to reset her brain somehow. What were they talking about again?

"What?" The other snapped, clueless, when the silence eventually made her start feeling uncomfortable. Urd finally kicked the gears in her brain to work again and slowly closed her mouth. She still tried to ransack her mind for a good comeback, came back with nothing, so she did the only thing she could come up with.

Got up and clumsily headed for the bathroom.

"I definitely need a bath. Cold. And I definitely have to stop ordering liquor from shady shops in Niflheim. There is no way in hell I just got turned on by that Rosebitch-wife of mine."

Peorth stared at her back all the way there with a somewhat perplexed look on her face.

"Well, now. That wasn't so hard, was it?" She thought as she moved to grab the remote and switch the channel, clearly pleased with herself. She was starting to feel a lot better too already.

Plopping down on the couch she reached for the forgotten bowl of popcorn and started zapping. Maybe she would get to watch Opprah after all.

Edited by Urd

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That was pretty hilarious! :hilarious: I really like the interactions between those two and maybe, getting Urd bathe in rose water could get her rather pissed at some point. Even if she could like it, everyone could start commenting that she smells like roses and... well, that could make her feel... a warm and fuzzy. Or not :roflmao:

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Hehehehe, it would probably be something along the lines of:

"Honey, I hate to be the one to be telling you this...but you stink"

"I know, i'm wearing your rose perfum"


"Why did you mess into my stuff?"

Urd shrugged her shoulders dismissvely.

"I ran out of mine..."

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Another passage i came up with while wolfing down my Doner Kebab.

Again, un-beta'ed, un-edited, un-everything, and prolly prone to changes later.

Read at your own risk.

“You idiot, she’s in love with you.” Skuld finally blurted out when the grownup goddess sat across her on the oak table. Peorth stared at her with a baffled look on her face, but said nothing.

Skuld sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. At this rate she was sure she was going to get wrinkles before she could hit puberty. There went her master plan to emulate Belldandy.

She took another bite of her vanilla flavored ice cream and put the cup down, waving her hands about.

“When you decided to hit your head on that tree trunk and almost drown in the Svartån, she lifted the whole riverbed to save you, you dimwit.”

Peorth didn’t seem fazed. Skuld was livid though. How could someone be so purposely dense? She half hoped she wouldn’t turn out like that. Maybe a change of tactics could help…

“Do you know how much energy is required to lift that much amount of water, debris, fish and whatever else was floating there 30 feet above the ground?” Skuld asked as she pointed up.

Peorth leisurely gestured “no” with a shake of her head.

“Like 544 x108 Yottajoules.”

The raven haired goddess made a face.



“A lot of juice.”

She was going to need more ice cream if she wanted to be successful in getting the idea inside the other deity thick skull. And there she thought it was hard to convince Urd of something. Even her rebellious sister had more common sense.

The young goddess gulped down the rest of the ice cream on her cup and started pacing around, tapping her forehead with a gloved index finger.

“She cooked you breakfast. Cooked, not conjured it with magic.”

It was a lame attempt, but she was running out of ideas. And getting more annoyed by the second. There was a ton of things she wanted to be spending her free afternoon with, and getting stuck explaining that to the self-named love goddess was not on top of her list.

“Urd does not cook!” Peorth mumbled and Skuld jumped at her.

“Exactly, she doesn’t. Yet she did it, for you.”

The skeptical look Peorth sent her way warned Skuld that she was not convinced yet.

The teenager was pulling her hair by now. How more obvious could it be? Was reading her manga the only source of romance tips that Peorth had ever had in life?

This wasn’t working at all. In time of desperate times, use desperate measures, right? Or something like that…

“She let you won at Tetris!”

“I’m good at Tetris!” Peorth protested, crossing her arms and faking offense.

“You suck at Tetris!” Skuld deadpanned.

She paced once more around the room, groaned loudly and moved to place her chair in front of the other goddess. Peorth raised one eyebrow.


Skuld seemed to debate with words for a second, until she finally gave up, grabbed the divinity by her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

“Peorth, read my lips. My sister is in . love . with . you.” Skuld said in the more solemn voice she could muster.

The words finally seemed to click and Peorth felt her stomach start doing backflips inside her belly. The dream she had last night become very active in her mind’s eye for a moment, and she felt her face getting hotter.

Must have eaten something spoiled” She thought dismissively. What was wrong with her anyway?

“I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know when it happened, but it did. Somewhere along the way she went from wanting to drown you in the bathtub to fetching you a fresh baked croissant. In France...” Skuld continued, feeling the other was finally getting the point.

“So please, get your head out of your ass and do something about it.”

Getting up, she left an empty ice cream cup on the table and a goddess with a head full of questions sitting dumb folded on her chair.

Edited by Urd

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She asks Peorth in marriage, so she can get the position of heir apparent back, at least temporary. Peorth obviously declines at first, but ends up accepting after Urd discovers some old, rusted law in a book somewhere that says if the marriage is not consumed during the first celestial year, it can be called off by one of the intervenient parts.

I kinda need some help with that part. Urd finding out about some shady law that allows them to call off the marriage is certainly going to help having Peorth agree to go with the stupid crazy plan. But it feels short.

Some good possible explanations for Urd to want to marry Peorth came up before (read previous pages of this topic) . But what about Peorth herself? What reason would be strong enough to motivate her into accepting the fake marriage?


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Well, she might've wanted to help Belldandy and Keiichi, especially if he was under a lot of pressure to become a consort (sort of a lesser husband) while Belldandy was to have a "proper" spouse. There was also the possibility that before she agreed, Lind might've offered to assist for the same reasons (help Belldandy and Keiichi) and Peorth... somehow didn't like that idea and decided to do it herself. She might've been worried that, Urd could pull all sorts of pranks on the Valkyrie while they were "married." Although, she might've also been a bit jealous, too.

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vanagandr, on 07 Aug 2015 - 9:02 PM, said:snapback.png

Well, she might've wanted to help Belldandy and Keiichi, especially if he was under a lot of pressure to become a consort (sort of a lesser husband) while Belldandy was to have a "proper" spouse. There was also the possibility that before she agreed, Lind might've offered to assist for the same reasons (help Belldandy and Keiichi) and Peorth... somehow didn't like that idea and decided to do it herself. She might've been worried that, Urd could pull all sorts of pranks on the Valkyrie while they were "married." Although, she might've also been a bit jealous, too.

To help K1 and Belldandy out, still doesn't feel quite enough. For Urd (plus a bunch other selfish reasons) it might be...she's family after all, but for Peorth....nahhhh

Jealous of what exactly? There shouldn't be any romantic feelings between them at this point...just a regular friendship. :/

Unless she was jealous of Lind and i got that wrong =)

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Yes, I meant jealous for Lind. It's true that, Peorth is less likely to get involved all by herself and as a matter of fact, Lind is a more possible candidate to help her lifelong friend. Of course, that involves getting married to Urd, but, considering that it was supposed to be for show, she might agree with it, making Peorth jealous.

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I honestly cannot see for the life out of me Lind offering to be wed to someone like Urd.

Scratch that, i can't picture Lind being married to any1! Period :playful:

Everybody has a price right? So...i dunno...

Agree so Urd convinces her father to release some long forgotten emprisoned familiar in the Moon prison?

So that Urd returns a long lost heirloom to her House?

So that Urd agrees to massage her feet for a century? :hilarious:

I'm going to shut up now :O_o:

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Ok, so here's another passage i just came up with.

Would take place somewhere into the story, when Urd and Peorth are living together after the fake marriage. The maid caughts their beds undone and wonders why there are 2 undone beds, instead of just 1.


Tell me what ya think ^^






Peorth knocked lightly on the door to the room she knew she would find Urd in. Ever since the other week the other goddess seemed to have disappeared inside the lab she insisted on having when they moved into her apartment. Her atelier was sacrificed for it, but since it’s been ages since she last touched a paint brush, she conceded without putting up much of a fight.

There was also the fact that she liked to indulge herself in trying out a potion or two every once in a while. At least with their own personal lab, she didn’t have to sneak around to use the pharmacy’s one. And by sneaking around, she actually meant bribing the lower deities running the place with gifts from Earth for a free, undisturbed evening of work.

Of course, she also couldn’t pass the opportunity to get her hands on an almost unlimited supply of alchemy ingredients. She wondered where Urd was getting those in the first place, but quickly decided that maybe that was something she didn’t really wanted, or needed to know.

After three light taps there was no response from the other side of the door, but the occasional clinking of glass vials told her there was indeed someone inside.

“We need to talk.” Peorth declared as she finally opened the door and stepped in. As expected, she found Urd working behind a long, massive steel table. There were half a dozen of vials with purple and green liquid sitting on the tabletop, and a mixer working on full throttle. Some syringes could be seen on the on the far corner, next to a notepad with some jumbled symbols on it.

Urd didn’t bother to look up from the microscope she was staring at. “We do?”


“Can’t it be some other time?” She asked, already dismissing the situation.  “I’m in the middle of something here.”

Non.” Peorth held her ground and crossed her arms above her breasts. “Can’t you just finish that later?” She continued, trying to take a better look at whatever Urd was brewing. “Whatever that is.”

“Relax.” Urd began, sighing loudly. “It’s not a love potion or anything that will make that wussy Keiichi hit the sack with Belldandy.” She took a moment to look at Peorth from the microscope lens with a pensive look on her face.

“But I could work on that…” she concluded with a wicked smile.

Peorth groaned loudly and rolled her eyes in response.

“Oh whatever, just spill it out.” Urd half growled, but resumed her work “What happened this time?”

The brunnete didn’t seem happy, but went along with it. “Mihoshi came ealier today.” She started, watching out for Urd’s reaction.

“Who?” Urd replied.

“Do you even live in this house?” Peorth murmured, face palming. She should have seen that one coming.  Still, how Urd managed to get under her skin so easily still hadn’t failed to amaze her. “Mihoshi, as the maid?”

A brief look of recognition flashed through Urd’s eyes as she looked up again from her work.

“Ok ok. So the maid came earlier today.” She said, wishing Peorth would just go straight to the point. She was going to end up messing that potion if the interruptions kept going, something she was not looking forward to. “What about it?”

“She found the beds undone.” Peorth explained, feeling like that small piece of info was enough for the usually quick witted silver haired goddess to catch the drift. “Both of them.”


Or not.

So?” Peorth stared at her, mouth gaping open and eyes bulging out from their sockets. “Really Urd? Are you paying attention to what I’m saying?”

“Would it please you and make you shut up if I said “yes”? Urd tried, half serious.

“No.” The brunnete deadpanned.

“ Fine fine.” She conceded, planting both hands on the table and mentioning to get up from her leather chair.  “So the maid found out we’re sloppy and don’t do our beds in the morning. Are you worried she might be telling our Mothers about it or something? Or maybe you’re worried that--”

“Oh fuck” She mouthed as her eyes went wide and Urd felt a not so pleasant chill run up her spine. She stared at Peorth for a long minute.

Peorth pinched the bridge of her nose and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah. Thought so.”

Urd took a few more seconds to unfreeze. “You came up with an excuse, right?” She asked as she passed a hand through her hair.

“Of course I did.” Peorth stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Urd puffed out in relief and meant to return to the microscope in front of her.

“ I told her that we happened to sleep on different beds cause you’ve been suffering from a lot of gas lately.” Peorth finished, trying to look serious, but failing miserably. Her ‘got you’ smile just insisted on adorning her features.

Urd almost gagged on her own saliva.

“You told her WHAT?”

“Oh, so you were listening after all.” Peorth said as she inspected her fingernails. A visit to the manicure shop was in due order.

“Honestly Peorth? You had to tell the freaking maid that I feeling freaking bloated?!”

There was a long pause before Urd continued.

“The hell is wrong with you? Couldn’t you come up with anything else?” She cried out, hands gesturing around wildly.

Peorth took a moment to look offended.  

“Excuse me, but I was more worried that our cover got blown. The last thing we need right now” she punctuated, tapping her index finger on the palm of her hand “… is to add more fuel to get the rumor mill really going.” She concluded. “That was the first thing that popped my mind.”

Urd plopped back into her seat without ceremony. A headache was already brewing, she could tell. “I don’t think I want to find out what was the second thing that popped into your mind.”

“You sure don’t.”

Urd threw her a dirty look, to which Peorth pretended to ignore. She watched as the silver haired woman seemed to debate whether to throw in another comment or not. Urd got up from her seat again and started pacing around in front of the massive table. Peorth did a quick  mental note to get her out of that habit whenever she was thinking about something.

“Did she buy it?” Urd ventured, accepting defeat. For now.

Oui oui. Hook, line and sinker.” Peorth chirped, and Urd stopped her pacing to stare back at her.

“There’s no way anyone can be that dumb.” Urd finally concluded, raising a silver eyebrow.

Peorth smiled broadly at that comment. “You clearly don’t know Mihoshi dear.”

Urd cringed at the last word, but bit her tongue. Deciding that there was no reason to continue working on the potion – it was probably ruined anyway by now – she grabbed her coat and went for the door.

“Fine, but if she starts getting funny ideas” she started, looking back over her shoulder  “like putting Asparagus on my plate” she offered “you’re in for a lot of pain.”

And with that she left, and Peorth stood there looking at the opened door.

For some reason, a cold chill went up her spine. She shivered.

‘Damm cold lab.’




Edited by Urd

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That was hilarious :roflmao: The only dubious part is whether Peorth could come up with an excuse or not. I mean... as a first class goddess, she cannot tell a lie, so it's kind of strange that she could get away with it.

On the other hand... if that's actually true... :hilarious:

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I thought about that just a few hours ago. I didn't think you would notice so fast =)


But it's easy to fix:



“The hell is wrong with you? Couldn’t you come up with anything else?” She cried out, hands gesturing around wildly.

"Also, what the hell is wrong with the System?" Urd continued, and Peorth realized she was already talking to herself...again... "I get punished for lying and you don't?" She pointed and herself and then at Peorth, accusingly. "Or is it that 'First-class goddess can't lie' shit just for the show?"

Peorth balanced on one feet as she looked up, imitating a thinking pose.

"Well, you see." She started, humming to herself  "I wasn't lying."

"Oh really?" Urd looked at her increduosly. "Really? Like....for real?" 

"Well, there was a stinky smell on the living room last night." Peorth recalled, scratching her chin. 

Urd went livid. "That..." she started, poiting at the direction she knew the living room was "was the bloody dog Peorth!"

"Oh c'mon Urd." Peorth countered in mocking tone. "Blamming the dog?"

"For crying out loud." The half-goddess was pulling her hair out by now. " It was you who feed the stupid dog with wet ration after i told you not to!" she remembered her companion, making sure to emphasize whose fault exactly that was. "What did you expect? Him farting roses out of his ass?!" Urd finished, her face red from anger.



Edited by Urd

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