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Nena Camadera

Scarred Survivors

713 posts in this topic

So, figured it would be a good idea to post a forum here detailing the latest joint effort between a series of writers on this site.  Some of the ideas and material going in to this fanfic are going to be rather controversial, and that doesn't include the dirty mouths everyone's seemed to have gained throughout the first chapter alone.  For anyone who's curious, this is a fanfic inspired by one of IdiAmeanDada's dreams where Keiichi was leaving to save Belldandy Rambo-style, and then expanded upon by HotelKatz into a quick stand-alone fic for the 'What If...' storyline.  IdiAmeanDada, who's retired US Navy, had me beta read it, and active military myself, it caught my eye enough to the point where I ended up adding to the story as well.  Scarred Survivors is the result of this mad combination of a civilian, retired military, and active military coming together and drawing from their own unique ideas and experiences to create a world that at times may seem painfully familiar, and at others times alien and farfetched.  

 

At some point, it's content expanded to the point where HotelKatz and IdiAmeanDada spoke about creating two separate stories rather than leaving this as a lone 'What if' chapter, and as such a more child-friendly, 'safe' version (uncorrupted by me, I swear to god) which is chapter 55 of the 'What if' storyline.  Scarred Saviors, the version that has been expanded upon and then manipulated into something that is only a former shell of it's brightness, can be found here:

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12111294/1/Scarred-Survivors

 

I suppose this is another kind of 'reboot' of the series, though the direction taken is quite different from probably anything that has ever been tried with this series before.  For those who hold a vested interest in the story, I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to discuss it thoughout this forum.

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I do hope you're able to use and expand the scene where Belldandy uses her powers against Keiichi. I wish I was able to write the scene better or expand it, but I couldn't without it seeming to repeat itself or it running into a 'Keiichi tries to speak, but his face meets with wall as Belldandy flings him around.' dealies.

 

But if you decide to skip it to use better scenes, I understand. Heck, I approve, as I'd rather read a good story that doesn't use stuff I suggested, than have the story use the stuff and it winds up suffering for it.

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The scene may be moved to a later time in the story,  in all honesty. We've got something else planned for the inevitable meeting, and it's one of the reasons why the story will have an 'm' rating. There will be a time later down the road where the scene will have more relevancy, however it's further down the line at a date that's only recently been discussed. The story has already evolved phenomenally from where it's initial direction went,  which you'll see in chapter 2 and 3, but we're still using your original story as a guide for the direction of story itself. 

 

So hang in there. If we can stay true to the story,  you'll get your scene where Bell dandy decides she doesn't like Keiichi's face-to put it lightly-and the reasons behind it should leave you and everyone else wincing in sympathy: for both parties involved. 

Edited by Nena Camadera
PHONE AUTOCORRECT IS EVIL.
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I have to admit, I'd be a hypocrite if I said or even thought 'stay true to what I wrote'

 

I write outlines for my multi-chapter stories, but rarely follow them. Same thing goes for the rare time I try to write on outline for a single chapter story. 

 

So whether or not the scene is in your guys' story or not, I'll still like and keep the story in my favorites.

 

Funny thing I just remembered. One time when I was talking with IdiAmeanDada, I said something about crossing it over with Attack of the Killer tomatoes. Thankfully, IdiAmeanDada said no.

 

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Alright, gonna ask some questions I suspect that'll probably be answered with 'secret for now' or something.

 

Any possible guesses for the number sequels, if you decided on any?

 

Will there be any delving into how Belldandy was able to deal with Aoshima?

 

Will you guys get into Sayoko's reaction towards Belldandy and how the two dealt with each other?

 

Will there be little hints around Aoshima's place that will stick out to trivia seekers, like Belldandy hiding stashes of soda around the place?

 

I'd ask more, but most of them are too far off or go into 'You want canon, go read canon. This is fanfic land' stuff.

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I don't know what you mean by sequals.  This will become a multi-chaptered story, and as such, it'll broaden not only to cover what you originally spun up, but also the afteraffects of what we've thrown in to make it dictate a mature rating (hint: It's not everyones dirty mouths.) As such, it will go beyond the eventual rescue of Belldandy, as well as cover some new characters who hold their own relevancy to the story based off the direction the story goes.

 

Belldandy dealing with Aoshima-or rather, the events she went through while with him-will become a large piece of the story.  As for Sayoko, nothing is planned for her at this time--remember, Keiichi is American here, and so as soon as Belldandy is saved, they're all booking it back to America--so she's pretty much a non-player either for or against the cast at this time.  Whether or not that becomes relevant later down the road remains to be seen, however at this point it seems unlikely.  There won't really be any bits of trivia in the house unless it's from the dialogue provided by the characters themselves.  The next chapter already holds little snippets dealing with various references, and  probably more once I finish editing what will eventually become chapter 3.

 

Anyways, what this story is essentially becoming is Reboot 2.0 of the franchise--taking a different route than even Davner originally had planned.  Things are a little slow now because of a mixture of things on both IdiAmeanDada's and my own parts, but hopefully we'll be able to publish the second chapter by this weekend.  Then you'll have a taste for just how drastically things are shifting.

 

And by all means, feel free to ask questions--just because some of them may be avoided due to spoilers doesn't mean you still won't gleam some tidbit of juicy information from it.

 

 

 

 

 

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I guess a better way to ask was to ask about story arcs, rather than sequels. But I'm glad to hear that there will be more chapters.

 

So, would they be more like slice-of-life or have more of an action bent to them?

 

If the latter, I can probably offer a supernatural entity or two, but let's face it. The goddesses tend to be overpowered in fanfics and canon. Even the version of a Rougarou that's a werewolf-witch combination couldn't be much of a challenge, even if it could fire spells off at a rapid pace. So there's not much point.

 

So I suspect the former, as it'll be a good way to explore this new AU and these variants of the characters we know and love.

 

And yeah, after thinking about it. even I think Sayoko has no place in the story. At best, if Aoshima somehow lives after Belldandy leaves, she might have a spot where Aoshima calls her for help... and I vote that her reaction is to laugh in his face before hanging up.

 

But I don't think Aoshima will get to live after Belldandy leaves him. Heck, I'm not even sure if he's alive in my chapter at the end.

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Ah, see what you mean now.  I'm tracking.  It's hard to say what sort of story archs will pop up, just due the nature of the story right now.  It's still pretty infantile, given the fact that we haven't done much writing outside of improving/editing the lone chapter you created as a standalone, Katz.  If you can believe it, you're original chapter has branched into four different chapters leading up to Belldandy's rescue, and I've only just started on one of the scenes for the start of chapter four, and they're all pretty action-heavy.  

 

Afterwards, you can probably expect the crew to get a break, which would lead into a bit more of a slice of life style story arch until things heat up for the next round.  Keiichi's a warrior in his own right this go around, and as such he's going to be tested and tried just in the day-to-day struggles that come with being a Navy Seal.  Team 12 gets deployed pretty often, so you can expect him to vanish for a time or two for some of the more contested areas throughout the world, and not everything he does is something he's going to be proud of.  That will be part of the struggle between the relationship between Belldandy and Keiichi, as Belldandy can't always go with him--not without his own team noticing and taking undue interest into how Keiichi's new girlfriend managed to get to a covert FOB in the middle of Iraq or Afghanistan.

 

Of course, that will also bring up how Keiichi will keep the Norns' origins a secret from the rest of his team as well.  Any unit is going to be close--they're the men you deploy with, sleep with, and fight with, which makes them your family--and keeping a huge secret like 'my girlfriend is a goddess' tends to be a little difficult when your bros keep hounding you for details on how you met.  Urd can't keep wiping their memories MIB-style, and eventually, something is going to slip.  But that's something for another time farther down the road, when we've had a chance to really look at the people that consist of Team 12.

 

As for antagonists...well, sometimes one's greatest enemy is oneself, and that's kind of the theme we're playing with here.  There will be other, outside factors, but they don't make up the main 'bad guys' of the story.  In a sense, it will make the story a bit more interesting because of that, since, like you said, the Norns are all literal goddesses which make them OP as all hell.

 

Can't say what happens with Aoshima.  That's too special.

 

Also...what's a ' Rougarou'?

 

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Pretty much a werewolf that is either under control of a witch or is a witch itself. The appearance can either be like a normal werewolf or merely a wolf's head on a person's body.

 

Most of the stories are about it are around New Orleans. According to a few spots on online, the tales are derived from France's loup-garou. Also a werewolf.

 

And from what I heard from one person, but haven't been able to verify it anywhere else, the Rougarou can also be some sorta hybrid of werewolf, witch, and vampire, but without any of their weaknesses. The Rougarou's weakness in this case? Toads and frogs. It's scared of them.

 

Heh. Now I'm imagining Belldandy in a cutesy frog costume chasing after a terrified werewolf dressed as dracula.

 

But after reading your reply, I'd rather read what you guys are able to come up, than trying to force this in.

 

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Congrats on getting a review, guys! 

 

I can honestly see this Skuld walking into the bar and deliberately antagonising whoever is in there.

 

Like say, if Country music is playing, I can see Skuld saying, “eugh. This is horrible! All country music is the same! In fact, I can sum it all up in a single verse! ‘Yew broke mah heart, so Imma break yer jaw!’”

 

And then Urd or Belldandy gets Skuld outta there before a fight breaks out. At least Belldandy. This Urd might decide to fight her in front of the others to spare her the thrashing she’d get from whoever was offended by Skuld’s antics. But this would feel like a rehash of your superior scene, so I doubt it’ll be used.

 

And this Belldandy… It’s an odd breath of fresh air to see the steel core she has. I believe there’s a quote that’s something like ‘to bring out the best of your characters, push them to the limit. Do your best to break their resolve to see the strength within them.’ or something.

 

As for some questions…

 

How good is Keiichi’s cooking ability? Does he know how to make an SOS?

 

I ask because I remembered my dad used to love making it once a week. He made it more when I found some really good white gravy. I'd eat it when he offered, but I'm of mixed feelings about it.


That could be used for part of an morning scene after Belldandy is freed from Aoshima. Keiichi puts a plate of chipped beef on toast (or whatever variant you guys prefer to be used in this story) in front of Skuld and she asks what is it.

 

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I can't believe I haven't commented yet ^^; So, let's fix that, shall we?

 

It's definitely a much darker and more somber version of what was posted in Katz's "What if" collection of stories, but that doesn't mean it's less good. As a matter of fact, it's kind of refreshing to see a bit of a different approach than most of the other stories out there. Also, the idea of a rougher Keiichi kind of makes me laugh for reasons even unknown to me.

 

The only thing I found odd is the ten year delay until someone tried to do something about Belldandy's situation, but then again there is some time dilation between the mortal realm and Heavens. So, that could explain it?

 

And the biggest question is what Hell's angle in this could be. To put it simply, could demons see this situation as beneficial to them, or the other way around? I only ask since it could... help with Aoshima's fate if someone else decided to invite him along for a 'tea' party.

 

At any rate, I can't wait to see what happens next :)

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The darkness will only get deeper.  We are finishing up CH03 now and the end is a little jarring to say the least.  No spoilers, though.  ;)  As for Belldandy's strength, yeah, she is not the naïve goddess we knew.  She is also going to be very damaged.  I refer you back to the description of the story.  ;)

 

No comment on the demonic involvement.  Read CH03 when it comes out.

 

As for Aoshima's fate, we have an idea on how we will handle it.  Katz, I will say that it is NOT in the same way that I did it in my version.

 

@Katz, we have not decided on Keiichi's cooking abilities yet.  Truthfully, we have not even discussed it.  He is a bachelor right now, so the implications are clear there.  :)  I will say that the first scene in what I will call the "AfterStory" does involve cooking, though.  And a towel. 

 

My mother used to make SOS with chipped beef.  YUM!  Just make sure you get the low salt kind.

 

@Van, Not sure if we have made it 100% clear, but Urd has been trying to free Belldandy since the wish was put in place.  So has Skuld, although she has given up.  If you recall when Keiichi and Urd first met in Afghanistan, she was trying to broker a deal with a demon for his assistance with freeing Bell, and he double-crossed her.  That was five years before this story starts (we did not specify a time for that, though).  Urd has been seeing Keiichi and the team since then, although there was an absence of about 12-18 months or so where she was gone.  That will be covered in AfterStory at some point.

 

BTW, thank you guys for commenting.  :)  Not that I doubted you would.  I can say that at least one of Katz's suggestions will eventually show up in AfterStory as well, so keep them coming.  No spoiler on which, though. 

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