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Nena Camadera

Scarred Survivors

1,250 posts in this topic

Interesting observation, I will admit, and one that really makes you wonder about the 'candidates' for a demon's contract.  None of them must really be in a healthy state of mind, which, judging by Aoshima's behavior and then expanded on to a greater level, would make sense from a psychological perspective.  I like the fact that you mentioned you think Aoshima hates himself--his personality as I wrote him here was to show a man who wasn't fully in his right mind, however out of hatred towards himself or viewing his success dependent on Belldandy was a bit unintentional. 

 

Something that was kept in this story is the fact that before he met Belldandy, Aoshima was still a bit of a playboy-something that was very, very minor in this last chapter.  Meeting the people he did just provided him additional power, and he really only views Belldandy as more of a means to an end over anything else; one who's stuck with him until an outside force gets involved. But when you consider the type of environment he's in, the fact that he's surrounded not only by wealth but by guards armed with guns-not batons but weapons that are illegal all across the nation-the fact that he's overly paranoid and self-centered over anything that appears, hints that there's more than just what's seen on the surface.

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I personally think that candidates for demonic contracts aren't all too different from the average person, at least as long as their mental state is concerned. The most typical example of a contract should be something eerily similar to what Belldandy offered Keiichi at the beginning of the manga (money, fame, women etc). Of course, in Aoshima's case, given that he already has all three (even here), one might wonder why he even attracted someone like Hagall. 

 



Personally, I could envision that she might be up to something... eerily similar to what she tried to do in the manga, but with a much darker way of accomplishing her goal. In that case, Aoshima's not your typical client, but rather the tool to 'break' Belldandy's will, and Hagall's dislike of the man could be taken with a grain of salt. Too much sympathy towards him would definitely cause Belldandy to despise the demons as well. 

 

Of course, that's only a bit of a speculation on my part ;)

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I've recently been playing Red Dead Redemption and I remembered this line from it.

 

So, I guess this quote applies to Aoshima somehow.

 

Quote

Power is like a drink. The more they take it, the more they want it and there's only a few that can hold it in.

 

Kinda sounds like something your version of Urd might say.

 

It also shows what kind of a man Keiichi is in the manga/anime. All that power in his grasp, and he refuses to use it.

 

And I wonder if we'll ever get a mention of what sort of supernatural events happened In Japan while Belldandy was with Aoshima. Heck, it's a bit of a depressing thought when you consider how many lives Keiichi and Belldandy touched and improved in the anime/manga, but didn't in your guys' fic.

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4 hours ago, HotelKatz said:

And I wonder if we'll ever get a mention of what sort of supernatural events happened In Japan while Belldandy was with Aoshima. Heck, it's a bit of a depressing thought when you consider how many lives Keiichi and Belldandy touched and improved in the anime/manga, but didn't in your guys' fic.

 

As you say... I'd hate to see what what it looks like here with Belldandy's powers being abused for Aoshima's own ends like this. We got a small taste of that with Otaki and Tamiya being bodyguards at the palace. I don't think Biff Tannen's Hill Valley from Back to the Future is too far off as a comparison. Dude had divine and demonic energies working in his favor for a decade and that's got to have warped everyone's lives in Nekomi for the worse.

I've wanted to comment on this story for a while now and I have to say that it's been a treat to read. I think a lot of Oh My Goddess! fics would do well if they tackled a darker subject matter sometimes and you guys are doing a good job at doing a more realistic take on things thus far (I do wonder how much of the story will take elements from the reboot I've heard that was being floated quite a while ago though I suppose that might be giving away too much). Out of curiosity: it seems that this main story has about two more chapters, per the FF.net posting for three, but it seems like you have more story content planned later. Is that the 'after story' that was mentioned in the authors' notes?

The scene that was in the latest chapter was pretty harrowing; I think it says something about how it was written that the most frightening part of the story wasn't the demon messing up Keiichi's revenge scheme but what you described Aoshima's private video. Given how infrequently he appeared after the first few years of the manga's run I think it's pretty easy to forget how toxic and nasty Aoshima seems to be as a person. he did, after all, attempt rape and that makes you wonder just how many other unfortunate women found themselves in a similar situation. But as was noted I think he may be aware on some level he's living on borrowed time. It'll be interesting to see how his 'situation' is resolved.

Hard to imagine just how shell shocked Belldandy is going to be from all of this. She just had her faith in humanity crumpled up, thrown into the dirt, ran over, and burned to ashes. Even if it wasn't his fault I think she may end up blaming Keiichi initially for everything that's happened to her. One hopes that Skuld, Urd, and Keiichi himself will be able to bring her back towards a bit of her canon self but the boat might've sailed on that a long time ago. That might be an interesting angle for Lind to connect to the story in the future as well. She's a soldier - one of the best of the best - and one wonders if she might suffer from her own trauma somewhere in the distant past. Divine PTSD sufferers should stick together and all that though perhaps Keiichi could fill that role as well given as to what was hinted occurred to him in Afghanistan and Iraq.

I think if I had to critique something so far...
 

 

it would be Asgard's slow response (read: effectively nothing) to Belldandy's distress. Surely Tyr wouldn't want to stand for such a blatant miscalculation on Yggdrasil's part? The middle Norn is one of their best field agents and if nothing else aside from paternal affection it strikes me he wouldn't want her to be away from home so long, especially with a slug like Aoshima. I think this is made slightly more problematic by chapter three's ending given we know there was demonic interference in things as well. Someone would've noticed Yggdrasil was getting tampered with through the backdoor by Niflheim, right?

Edited by Nevermore
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The only thing I can say right now is that they felt it was a legitimate wish.  Sort of like the morons who think that if its on the internet, it must be truth, because the internet does not lie.  Neither does Yggdrasil.  That is why they are so bent on enforcing the wish when Urd knew it was BS. 

 

As for the rest of the lives that Keiichi and Bell touched, maybe that should be an idea for Katz's Whatif stories.  I pulled Tamiya and Otaki in to this story for the shock value, to be honest.  That turned into the funny scene that happened before the fight that Nena came up with.  There may be a time where they come back to Japan for some reason, and there might be interaction with someone from the original story, but the after story will take place in the US, mostly around Norfolk. 

 

And yes, there is an after story that we are putting together.  Its pretty safe to call this the opening arc of a much longer story.  However, Keiichi and Bell are not going to ride off into the sunset on a single horse, nor will there be an Earth-shattering first kiss.  Something that stories like this never talk about is what happens the day after.  We are going there, literally.  :)

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I've read chapter 3 in a hurry cause i was late for an event in WoW. Don't play WoW...Ever... It's bad for your health, your social life and whatever else you might think of.

 

I'll give a proper review once i can sit and read it with both of my eyes open.

 

Off i go to gear my Shaman... -_-

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Truth be told, I'd like to write a what-if story about the lives of Chihiro, Shohei, and a few of the others in this story, but I'm afraid of stepping on your toes for any future plan for them.

 

So the safe bet would be for me to write what the characters would be doing in the chapter that I wrote and you guys can use what seems interesting from it, if there is anything of use from it and should the story ever get back to Japan. So, I'll do this instead.

 

So, I'll think up what the characters might be doing and write up a chapter for it. But I'll wait on writing it until after the main group gets back to Norfolk. 

 

But if Nena and IdiAmeanDada want, I can send a PM about what I have in mind for the characters and we can chat about it or something.

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On 9/7/2016 at 9:48 AM, Nevermore said:

I've wanted to comment on this story for a while now and I have to say that it's been a treat to read. I think a lot of Oh My Goddess! fics would do well if they tackled a darker subject matter sometimes and you guys are doing a good job at doing a more realistic take on things thus far (I do wonder how much of the story will take elements from the reboot I've heard that was being floated quite a while ago though I suppose that might be giving away too much).

 

Nevermore, I was one of the original authors of that combined reboot, and I can honestly say that the only similarities between this and 'original' is the fact that Skuld appears as an adult rather than a child. Everything else is from brand new inspiration hailing from a variety of experiences, with some of the major factors being the mature themes already mentioned in chapter 3-and more that will be covered in chapter 4, as well as a heavy military theme, which never would have occurred in the initial reboot.  As such, there aren't really a whole lot of elements taken from either story, which for me personally was intentional: This is a fresh idea with new concepts, characters, and a storyline that's unique even under standard fanfic themes.

 

 

 Also, Katz, as far as I'm aware, IdiAmeanDada and I aren't using many of the original supporting cast outside of a brief mention or two, and even then, I can almost guarentee that what they'd be used for would be so far off from your own plans that the only thing shared would be the initial character design. Go ahead and continue with your own ideas for your version of the fic! or, if you'd like, send us what you still planned and we can help flesh out your ideas a bit more, but don't let anything we're doing in this story stop you from perusing your own based off Whatif's chapter 55.

 

Also, thanks to everyone for chatting it up in this forum-a lot of my own random ideas for the story gets sparked off little snippets you guys end up discussing here and questioning us about, and overall it helps improve the story and its chapters.  None of you should ever feel discouraged from asking a question related to the fic, regardless if its just for clarification or for a greater understanding of what might yet still come.  Keep 'em coming guys--Chapter 4 may be the last 'weekly' update we do for a while, as chapter 5 is still in the draft works, but it should still be pretty enjoyable once we roll that sucker out.

 

 

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With all the talk about the 'after story' I wonder just how extensive that would be. Obviously, there's no need to include a lot of the side characters from AMG, but even if you focus on the oncs currently present, it's going to take a while for this situation to get resolved. Especially in light of the latest chapters, it's highly unlikely for this much more stern and even traumatized Belldandy to go back to anything that resembles her old self.

 

So, is the after story a single chapter or perhaps a sequel of sorts? 

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Neither.  It'll be a series of additional chapters.  Pretty much the 'second arc' of the story,  whereas the rescue is the first arc.  How long the arc may be/if it will be divided into additional arcs is yet to be seen, as we haven't planned that far out. Pretty much it'll follow how Belldandy working through her trauma with the help of those around her,  to include Keiichi, Team12, and even a couple characters who've only been mentioned thus far, such as Aiko Morisato. 

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Well, I see Belldandy meeting Aiko having two possibilities.

 

One: We get to see some of the Belldandy we all know and love, thanks to Aiko.

 

or...

 

Two : Belldandy breaks down and cries because of what Aoshima forced her to do with her powers.

 

Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if neither was what was going to happen. 

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It's neither, like you said.  At this point it's too soon to say how either of them react, given their respective trauma and how they're both linked to Keiichi.  I will say this-you won't meet Aiko right away.  You'll hear from her in phone calls and texts and maybe even vidja games, but she won't make an actual appearance until further down the road, perhaps under the guise of both Belldandy and Aiko have come to the conclusion that 'there's somebody else' out there.  We aren't too sure ourselves yet, as it's still too soon to tell.

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