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Nena Camadera

Scarred Survivors

1,171 posts in this topic

4 minutes ago, IdiAmeanDada said:

 

As an aside, a lot of the Tropes on the trope page were removed.  Looks like one of the admins?  I put a couple of them back with better descriptions.  Others I just removed. 

Just a bit of a warning... the Tv Tropes admins are kind of aggressive when it comes how you go about certain tropes. I do occasionally use that site for some basic description for the characters whenever I mention AMG to others (since both the wikis I know of are mostly inactive), but the articles... change all the time. If you hit the History link on any page, you'll see all sorts of edits by various users, and on many occasions there are descriptions as to why they've been modified. Don't worry, I don't think that's something to do with the story. It's common practice there. 

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Posted (edited)

Well, here's the thing about tvtropes. According to their rules, pages that describe "works" are pretty much free reign in terms of editing, especially fanfics. If anyone was removing or editing the tropes, then it was one of us.

 

I'm not gonna call myself an admin of the tvtropes page cos that would be assuming I do some sort of quality control or whatnot. I do think however that before removing long entries, we should give reasons first. My entries on Complete Monster and The Woobie were removed and I still don't really know why. If anything, the story's authors should be the ones to dictate how they want their tvtropes page to represent the story.

 

But that's just me, I'm not placing responsibilities on anyone.

 

Basically, do whatever you want with it.

 

Edit: Also, put entries on the tabs guys! I want to see a nice collection of Awesome/Funny/Heartwarming/Tearjerker/Nightmare moments!

Edited by solopy567
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Hmm... I've checked the page and this was the listed reason for removal (according to the troper who made the edit): 

Quote

Reason: All Complete Monster entries must be vetted through the Complete Monster thread on the forums. Otherwise, it is still YMMV, and does not belong on the main page.

Dunno... but that sounds pretty much the opposite of free reign. I don't even know why it's necessary for an individual page, rather the main Complete Monster thread. On that one I'd see why they might want this, but on an individual page for a story? I have no clue.

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29 minutes ago, solopy567 said:

Edit: Also, put entries on the tabs guys! I want to see a nice collection of Awesome/Funny/Heartwarming/Tearjerker/Nightmare moments!

 

I added an index!!  Does that count??  :)

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24 minutes ago, vanagandr said:

Hmm... I've checked the page and this was the listed reason for removal (according to the troper who made the edit): 

Dunno... but that sounds pretty much the opposite of free reign. I don't even know why it's necessary for an individual page, rather the main Complete Monster thread. On that one I'd see why they might want this, but on an individual page for a story? I have no clue.

 

Hmmm, then we can add an YMMV tab. Should give us a place to put those opinion tropes in a nice, organized place.

6 minutes ago, IdiAmeanDada said:

 

I added an index!!  Does that count??  :)

 

Nope! Head in there and put those entries in!

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I added a couple of things to Funnies, and a couple to Timeline. I mean, how did anybody miss Jackson's introduction to the Ugly Beast?

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New chapter posted!

 

Enjoy!

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Read it. Must re-read it again, as always, but here are the first impressions.

 

You guys dawdled there..big time, was the first thought that strike me when i finished this.

 

The first part was pretty eart-to-earth. Keiichi looking out for confort and advice on Aiko seemed very fitting. Him not wanting others to see him so vulnerable as well. That scene was very well depicted. Keiichi stroke me as a ..how to put it..human again, and not some sort of super-hero. 

 

Until WoE popped.

 

I didn't find Keiichi's reactions to Urd angel much..how to put it...genuine, perhaps?

Here's my line of thought: what is the common, mortal perception of angel? The most common "idea" of one?  A fair skinned entity with broad white wings, long flowing hair and dressed in white garbs. That's the generalization, right? Just google "angel" and check the pics that pop up.

 

And here, Keiichi's first encounter with such an entity, was exactly with one with tatoos on her body, dual colored hair and a black and white wing.

 

After the initial shock of actually seeing something pop out of Urd's back, one might think that the first thing that would rub Keiichi's mind was to ask something along the lines of: "wait, if this is an Angel, a Heaven's being, why the hell does it has a black wing? Why is it covered in tatoos? Aren't angels supposed to be fair skinned and have white wings?"

 

And yet he completely ignores it... ignores it and then proceeds to ask to touch one wing. I must say i didnt connect with that request...

I just met an angel with a black and white wing, and the first thing i'm gonna ask is to touch her wings....errrr.....riiiight.

 

It looked like you guys wanted to create a specific scenario, insert some particular incident that will later contribute to the story, and didn't quite know how to introduce it...so you came up with that passage. And then proceeded to ignore some obvious details and went instead for others that will probably fit with where you want the story to go... It felt, i don't know..out of place in the story at this point. 

 

I'm with Keiichi on the bargain as well. If it was that much of a big deal to touch an angel's wing, why did Urd offered in the first place? In his words, why offer a contract where she was losing much more than she gained from it? Ok, we get it, she was in a hurry and wanted to be out of there to go and see HB...but couldn't she had just went on and asked Keiichi to give them a moment privacy? It just looked like an overkill of an offer if it meant that much to Urd over a simple request of privacy, that i'm sure Keiichi would have granted after a good talk.

But you're aware of that, since Keiichi himself voiced out the same questions...which indicates that you're going to address this "further down on the road" (trademark)

 

Still in that scene...sooooo....Keiichi saw Hell, in a manner of speaking? Why would WoE show him that? 

And i'm also with Keiichi on the plucking of the feather thingy. It was just a handfull of feathers...how could it wound a goddess so much? Did he literally tore a piece of her soul? Ok, so he managed to pull one of the biggest feathers it seems (about the size of his arm), but i'm as confused as he is as to Urd's reaction. I wouldn't go as far as him and  say it would be just like pulling out a hair, but that much of a reaction? 

I know, i know...explanations "further down on the road" (trademark).

 

Anyway..moving on...

 

So Lind was right after all. It was a case of severe neglect and malnutrition... Wish we could have seen what Neebo's recommendations for her recovery were...

 

Also, you guys decided to go "Songoku instant teletransport" mode on. Ok, i can live with that. My bet would be they popping out in the woods outside the house somewhere so that Lind can calm Urd/WoE (or try to),

Wouldn't put it past you guys to make the puma appear there as well...For ...reasons.

 

And soooooo...the last line caught my attention, So Skuld has suffered the wrath of Urd's demon side before?

Does that event happens to be linked in any way or form as to why Skuld was forced to grow up so fast?

 

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One thing that i forgot to add was that i liked that he thinks of Deb in moments of distress. It shows their relation was deep and that she was a good person. In fact, one might wonder if Keiichi still harbors feelings for his ex-wife. Sometimes i wonder if he'd given another chance with her...would he take it?

 

Sounds a much safer life deal than staying with Belldandy ..

 

Also, i was left with the feeling that it was a little too soon for Keiichi to make assumptions about Bell. And with that, i mean the assumption that she would forgive him, if the roles were inversed.I don't think Keiichi knows her enough to be stating that...

Ofc, there is always the expectations we have of someone, and maybe Keiichi's expectations for Bell are just too high...Nevertheless, we, readers, who know cannon Bell personality outside this world would say that yes, Bell would surely forgive him...My point is that SS Keiichi doesn't know Bell as we do, to be saying that :/

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1 hour ago, Urd said:

And yet he completely ignores it... ignores it and then proceeds to ask to touch one wing. I must say i didnt connect with that request...

I just met an angel with a black and white wing, and the first thing i'm gonna ask is to touch her wings....errrr.....riiiight.

A lot of this more has to do with those small instances of human error we like to contribute as, "it seemed like a good idea at the time."  On top of that, Keiichi's only seen one angel before.  He caught a quick glimpse of Noble Scarlet, but that was just her face, so he doesn't really have anything outside of World of Elegance to compare angels to.  As far as Keiichi's concerned, maybe angels with two different colored wings are normal.  Unfortunately, he never had the chance to actually delve into those questions, as neither his mind nor Urd's mind were in the right place at the right time. 

 

1 hour ago, Urd said:

I'm with Keiichi on the bargain as well. If it was that much of a big deal to touch an angel's wing, why did Urd offered in the first place?

Why indeed? Unless Urd wanted to make absolutely certain that Keiichi didn't go back on his word...and wanted to install possible countermeasures for the sake of the rest of the choir in case his own curiosity got the better of him...

 

1 hour ago, Urd said:

Wish we could have seen what Neebo's recommendations for her recovery were...

 

We'll be going a bit more into this in the next chapter, where Nebo actually starts ensuring those steps he discussed are enacted for Holy Bell's sake. 

 

1 hour ago, Urd said:

Also, you guys decided to go "Songoku instant teletransport" mode on.

One of the few combat spells Lind's allowed to use on Midgard around Urd-quick evasive teleportation spell to get her to/from a specific area in a set distance.  Your right though, she wouldn't have been able to get far with Urd and World of Elegance running wild.

 

31 minutes ago, Urd said:

It shows their relation was deep and that she was a good person.

Don't forget that Deb pretty much grew up with Keiichi and Megumi.  Deb became a close family friend, with her and her father oftentimes stopping by the Morisato residence for everything from a social gathering to study groups to straight up delivering baby supplies when funds were getting tight with three children and a new baby in the house.  He does still care about her, which should have been evident in the fact that Keiichi never speaks badly about Debra, and to this day Debra is still a close family friend to the Morisatos.

 

39 minutes ago, Urd said:

My point is that SS Keiichi doesn't know Bell as we do, to be saying that :/

True, and admittedly, he's still trying to come to a conclusions about everything still as well.  While he was on the border of making a possible conclusion while speaking to Aiko, that was interrupted by the Norns and Nebo in the hallway.  And of course, things kind of went down hill from there.

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15 minutes ago, Nena Camadera said:

  As far as Keiichi's concerned, maybe angels with two different colored wings are normal.  

 

Maybe they are. But since the stereotype of an angel is as i mentioned before, the least Keiichi could ask, or maybe comment on, was "wow, i thought angels had white wings" or "do all angels come with a black and white wing? I thought they were...different".

 

Kinda like, i dunno, per example, If the angels in AMG didn't have wings at all and one was presented to Keiichi, his most predicable comment would be: "but i thought angels had wings!" , since the general concept of an angel has them...

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True-but this kind of serves a dual-purpose for us.

 

The first is for the story itself, in which case Keiichi can't muster up the courage or the brain cells to ask about Elegance's wings.

And the second being to the fact that real-world, someone else is going to bring this fact up and I wanted to make sure there was room enough to fit in Holy Bell's diagnosis (we normally aim between 15-20 pages per chapter.  This one came to around 24 in the initial draft, which meant it was already longer than normal.)

 

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