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winedrinkingcritic

In Memory of Dylan Gutierrez (2001-2017)

4 posts in this topic

When I was in the middle of editing my last fan film about a week or two ago, my wife received a phone call that our sister-in-law Carrie's sixteen year old son had commit suicide by hanging himself in the closet. I have to be honest. I never really knew the poor guy. In fact, whenever we visited Carrie's house, I can't recall seeing him at all. Tragically, now that he's gone, everything that I've heard about him suggests that he should still be here. Dylan was a guy who helped everyone with their problems... tragically, in the end, Dylan's final words to his mother suggested that he was coping with mental illness and for all of the people he helped, there was nobody left to help him with his own. The shocking irony about all this, was Dylan was born only one year before I met the girl that would become my wife of 15 years, and he died when I was in the middle of editing a fan film with a subtext theme of about suicide. It's almost as if the final chapter, "I Tried to Discover", was meant to line up with his death. Do I believe in fate? Yes. But do I think fate is all loving? No. Fate is twisted f**king bitch with no remorse. Dylan's mother, Carrie, was a Christian missionary who went to foreign countries to help people find god. But what has God ever done for her? Carrie was on the verge of a nervous breakdown BEFORE this happened. My mother-in-law disowned and gave away Carrie when she was born because she was the product of rape, and watching her refuse to acknowledge Carrie as her daughter up to present day right to her face had a damaging effect on Carrie. She would often run out on her husband and children with no explanation for days on end. What Dylan did to himself may have solved his suffering, but the price for that was it damn near destroyed his family. I did not attend the funeral because I am already disliked by that side of the family, and things had become explosive. The fights that broke out were nonstop to the point that my daughter locked herself in the bathroom and sent me distress signals over the internet, begging me to drive down there and save her from the madness. Dylan's father Jacob was observed to be pacing around the house for no reason laughing to himself for no reason and violently snapping at people. When my mother-in-law showed up at the funeral gathering, the entire family blamed her for the depression she brought down on Carrie's family and the effect this had on Dylan, and they all wanted to beat her within an inch of her life... my wife had to hide her at a local nearby McDonalds. No, that's not an exaggeration, if they had found her, they really would've done it. Was there any real reason for this kid's death? Does his life serve a purpose? I guess I'll never know. There's a reason suicides are thought to go to hell... it's not because they're bad people... it's because what they do tragically effects everyone they know and sets off a chain reaction. So that's the tragic backstory behind the memorial in "I Tried to Discover".

 

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Posted (edited)

You have my condolences.

The mother-in-law sounds like my Maternal Grandmother.

 

I hope and pray that Dylan is in a better place.

Edited by HotelKatz
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23 hours ago, winedrinkingcritic said:

...She would often run out on her husband and children with no explanation for days on end. What Dylan did to himself may have solved his suffering, but the price for that was it damn near destroyed his family. I did not attend the funeral because I am already disliked by that side of the family, and things had become explosive. The fights that broke out were nonstop to the point that my daughter locked herself in the bathroom and sent me distress signals over the internet, begging me to drive down there and save her from the madness. Dylan's father Jacob was observed to be pacing around the house for no reason laughing to himself for no reason and violently snapping at people....

Sounds to me as if his family had already been in shambles...

Anyways, it's very sad that a young man with potential for so much good decided to take this kind of "shortcut".

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I remember when my paternal uncle's son took his own life. Used my uncles shotgun in the process. His family was devastated. It's never easy when someone takes their own life and it affects the family in different ways. Because I had never known him, and I never knew my uncles on my dad's side of the family all that much, I couldn't feel one way or the other because I had no connection with my dad's family. That's how it's always been. Eventually, the pain eases but that it's something that you never forget and that it's always with you, for as long as you live.

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