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HotelKatz

AMG Winter tales 2017

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HotelKatz

Yet another winter fic where I write 500 word chapters.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12745033/1/AMG-Winter-Tales-2017

 

Tempted to expand on the sister switch, like replacing one of the norns with Lind, Chrono,  or Peorth.

Maybe I should go wild and even expand it to Sora, Chihiro, Shiho, Sayoko, Megumi, Mara, Hagal, Thrym, or the other demons?

Keep in mind that Hild, Ansuz, and Takano would be excluded, as those kinds of switches would be too far complicated for me or this story.

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Keiichi Morisato

Interesting. Love the Freaky Friday twist to the story. But, the thing that stood out was that I don't think Hild would admit what she was planning to do with Keiichi's body. It just seemed out of character that Hild would explain to anyone, let along a mortal, what nefarious trickery she was planning to do. Would have been more hilarious to have Mara tie Keiichi-Hild up in ropes and wait for Belldandy to walk in, that would be very "in-character" of Mara. :grin:

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HotelKatz

Thanks!

 

As for Hild acting out of character, I was tempted to put in a line to explain it.  Something about how she was worried that Keiichi might know his body well enough to identify any tells that his body is lying about something.

 

Truth be told, I write these kinds of chapters stream of thought.  I really had wished I had thought of the Mara tying up Keiichi-Hild. I could've had it hinted to the readers that it's not Keiichi in his body by the fact they are both commenting on the knot-tying and being able to slip out easily.

 

Ah well, the person who asked it did ask me to expand on it and I do want to, if only to expand on Keiichi's part. I could still have Mara tie up Keiichi-Hild, but only if I decide to have Hild decide to play a prank on Mara and make her think they switched back.

But It's probably better for me to write an alternate version of it later this month and use your suggestion, Keiichi.

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Keiichi Morisato

Well, writing is kind of my thing and, what most of our members don't know, aside from a select few like Sugoi, is that I have been reading the Oh My Goddess manga series since as far back as 1995. That was when Dark Horse was publishing the manga in comic book form, on a monthly publishing schedule. I just know a lot more about this series than most manga fans do. Tying up Keiichi would be something that Mara would totally do and it goes back to her earlier appearances in the manga series, similar to what Sayoko used to do to Keiichi whenever she tried to discover Belldandy's secrets.

The whole "freaky Friday" twist was a cool concept for your story. I just thought that it was out of character for Hild to explain what she was going to do. From every story that Fujishima-san has written, and even from the anime series, Hild has always remained quiet regarding her intentions as she seems to think it's below her "station" to explain what she's going to do. We have to remember that this is the ruler of demonkind and while she may offer some minor insights to her actions, she's not the type of entity to explain her plans, simply because when her predicament is corrected, she could still use the plan she had contemplated. Now, Mara might go into a spiel about what she had planned to do, but, when it comes to Hild, she's a complex, devious entity who has plans upon plans upon plans. We saw this when she appeared in the anime series during the second season. I've watched the anime series so many times that I've developed an insight into her character and how she might react to a given situation.

But, you're very welcome. Sometimes, I have to be careful with my opinions because sometimes they can sound a bit harsh. But, overall, it was a very good story. Thanks for sharing it. :grin:

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HotelKatz

Hey, it's okay.

How else can I improve if I don't get opinions that make me take a step back and realize that I've made an error or two. I guess I need to re-read the manga again, since looking back, I don't have Hild really being all that subtle in any of my fics. I feel real embarrassed about it.

If you like the freak Friday twist, go look at my fic from last year. I didn't intend on the fic having a freak friday twist for most of its chapters, it just seemed to happen.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12256497/1/AMG-Winter-Tales-2016-Body-Switch-edition

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Keiichi Morisato

That's cool. Look forward to reading more of this. :grin: Great feedback is always good.

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HotelKatz

Decided to write that alternate chapter. I hope it's to your liking.

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Keiichi Morisato

I'll check it out, later today. Just have a few things I need to do this weekend first. :grin: But, I'll post my thoughts on the alternate chapter later. :music:

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HotelKatz

Thanks, Keiichi.

 

FFN is acting weird, so here's a link to chapter 9. I'll post it on FFN once that site stops acting up.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WgDVHy9JvVGaUqQddCGfXUN-WKKJ-orkdCmzwgejVB4/edit?usp=sharing

Edited by HotelKatz

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